New year - NO NEW YOU!
There is a weird phenomenon of people starting to make changes at the start of things, a huge proportion of people begin diets on a Monday and the 1st of January is the King/Queen/non-binary monarch of days to start new initiatives and resolutions
I am sure that you are already starting to see the avalanche of ‘New Year, New Me’ posts, online coaching courses and vision boards sprouting across your social media feeds like mould across out-of-date Christmas cheese.
And, just like that mould, the idea of ‘New Year, New You’ will probably make you ill, unless you get rid of it.
I get it, the whole idea of new starts is pretty damn tempting. We think we can remove/ignore/deny the bits of our personality that we have found problematic or self defeating.
Wouldn’t that be lovely?
Why New Year, New you is a terrible idea...
While the idea of starting fresh and making positive changes in your life can be appealing, the concept of a “New You” is problematic for a number of reasons.
First and foremost, the idea of a “New You” implies that there was something wrong or flawed about the old you.
This can lead to a negative self-perception and a lack of self-acceptance.
Instead of trying to completely reinvent ourselves, it is important to embrace and accept who we are, flaws and all. This means accepting our past mistakes and working towards self-improvement, rather than trying to become a completely different person.
The truth is, you are doing amazingly well already. You don’t need new stuff, you need to work out what skills, traits and abilities really served you well over the last twelve months and finds more opportunities to use them in 2023.
The concept of ‘New Year, New You’ can tempt you to make sweeping changes simultaneously across the whole of your life, which can lead to overwhelm and that, is a high-risk strategy.
By high risk, I mean impossible…obvs
How good are you at new things...like really?
Doing new things in new ways has a steep adoption curve, which means being rubbish at them to start with, which can be dispiriting and can lead to giving up on the new stuff.
Doing the existing stuff, we are already good at, more often will help you build and maintain momentum. And, when it comes to getting more of what you want, momentum is everything.
True transformation takes time, which is why most diets fail, most people’s gym membership isn’t used past march and we end up falling back into smoking/bingeing social media/drunk dialing our unsuitable sneaky link.
This backsliding crushes our commitment and can lead to easily avoidable feelings of failure or disappointment if we are unable to meet these unrealistic expectations.
You are much better off setting easily achievable goals and making small, incremental changes over time.
Find the root causes...
In addition, the idea of a “New You” often focuses on superficial changes rather than addressing deeper issues.
For example, someone may set a resolution to lose weight or get fit, without considering the underlying causes of their unhealthy habits.
Instead of focusing on surface-level changes, it is important to address the root causes of our behaviors and make lasting changes that will benefit us in the long-term.
Without a frank and honest conversation with ourselves about why we do the things we do, we will be forced to use brute willpower to force ourselves to do the new things…and very few of us enjoy being forced to do things.
You are not perfect.
Finally, the concept of a “New You” promotes the idea of perfectionism.
It suggests that we must be constantly striving to be better and that our worth is based on our achievements.
I fully despise ‘Hustle Culture’ with its always-on, must be doing things approach to life. Life is experiential which means we have a better time of it if we enjoy the moment a bit more, and give ourselves some time to appreciate what we have done well, rather than constantly trying to achieve more and ‘be’ more.
This can lead to a never-ending cycle of trying to improve ourselves and can be damaging to our mental health. We can choose to recognize that we are all human and that it is okay to make mistakes and have imperfections.
Instead of trying to completely reinvent ourselves every year, it is important to focus on self-improvement and personal growth. This means being kind to ourselves, setting realistic goals, and recognizing that we are all human and make mistakes. So, instead of resolving to become a completely “new” person every year, let’s work on becoming the best version of ourselves that we can be.
The Takeaway
To get a little more traction on yourself and really double down on your high value creating activity from last year…
Ask yourself these questions and note down your responses and then use your answers to build a more amazing 2023.
- What went particularly well last year?
- What skills or attributes did I use to make those good things happen?
- Where else in my life/business can I use these skills?
- How can I keep these skills top of mind so I get more benefit from them more often?
- How can I capture my successes so I can build on them in 2024 and beyond?
If you do want a little help with planning your next twelve months, in a way that is sustainable AND transformational, we still have a couple of coaching spots available.
Drop us a line at aloha@kinawesome.co.uk
We would LOVE to help you get the best out of 2023!
